Recruitment lingo lesson #1

"Confusion of Tongues" (Wiki Commons)

After job-fossicking for a while, you tend to get very sick of the same language that job advertisements use. I call it HR-ese. The following are my least favourite examples:

Demonstrated ability - I'm glad they added the 'demonstrated', because otherwise I would've written on my CV "Fluent in French... well I just know I can if I believe."

Proven leader - Let me drag out some of the international students I guilted into working during my group work at uni. They can give you some tearful testimonies if you're looking proof.

Your strong interpersonal skills - They're very strong. In fact, they're the strongest! Others' interpersonal skills appear puny and insignificant next to mine!

For a confidential chat - That's a shame - since my reflex over the phone is to ask the recruter whether that colorectal cancer has gone systemic yet.

Project Management - the two vaguest words in the English language. This could mean anything from overseeing the removal of malarial mosquitoes from Equatorial Guinea to 'managing' ingredients in your assembly of a killer soufflé. Whatever the case, I especially hate when it's used as a verb.

"You will be project managing stakeholder agreements"

Mmmmm steak holders. Add a comment...