Recruitment lingo lesson #1

"Confusion of Tongues" (Wiki Commons)

After job-fossicking for a while, you tend to get very sick of the same language that job advertisements use. I call it HR-ese. The following are my least favourite examples:

Demonstrated ability - I'm glad they added the 'demonstrated', because otherwise I would've written on my CV "Fluent in French... well I just know I can if I believe."

Proven leader - Let me drag out some of the international students I guilted into working during my group work at uni. They can give you some tearful testimonies if you're looking proof.

Your strong interpersonal skills - They're very strong. In fact, they're the strongest! Others' interpersonal skills appear puny and insignificant next to mine!

For a confidential chat - That's a shame - since my reflex over the phone is to ask the recruter whether that colorectal cancer has gone systemic yet.

Project Management - the two vaguest words in the English language. This could mean anything from overseeing the removal of malarial mosquitoes from Equatorial Guinea to 'managing' ingredients in your assembly of a killer soufflé. Whatever the case, I especially hate when it's used as a verb.

"You will be project managing stakeholder agreements"

Mmmmm steak holders. Add a comment...

Hello world

I started this blog because I'm a graduate loser. My friends, relatives and postpersons are all irritated by my complaining so I thought I'd borrow the global audience of the Internet to broadcast my qualms.

Qualm #1: I'm a graduate without a job

Qualm #2: I have massive expectations from being brought up on glossy law TV shows and capitalism.

Qualm #3: the motivation to stop living off train station sushi at 3pm when it goes on sale.

Now just to get things straight, I've had jobs both good and bad, so I know a LITTLE something about what to expect in the Australian job market. This is why I'm not going to settle for just anything for my next job.

So if you're also watching too much The Circle, Oprah and Zumba infomercials, come and join!